I remember me, dancing around my grandma's house, in one of her outfits
Two years ago, in 2015, my grandmother died. She accepted me the way I am and never judged me for my sexuality. She always told me she was the first who knew I was gay. With her death, I lost my safe haven. I remember how I danced around in my grandmother’s house, in one of her outfits. This is one of the moments in my youth when I felt completely free. When I slept over at my grandmother’s house I could do whatever I wanted, go to bed as late as I wanted, drink tea with sugar and eat whatever I wanted to eat. This project shows me, on the vulnerable age in the process of struggling with my sexual identity and the moments when I longed the most for my grandmother’s place, her creativity and her personality.
Who you are, how you feel, who you want to be
The main question of my thesis is: In what way does divergent gender identity influences the media-, fashion- and photography world? I concluded that nowadays divergent gender identity is more accepted than ever. You see it all around and because of all the moviemakers, fashion designers and photographers that make use of gender identity it is hard to miss the subject. Nevertheless a lot of people are not able to think further than male or female. For myself I concluded that my thesis made me understand why I make the photo’s I make. I concluded that I photograph for my fourteen-year-old self and that I use my photography to find perfection. The camera allows me to photograph boys that do not judge me because of who I am.